Is this sentence too long?
I am translating something into English, but there is just soooo much information to deal with. Since translation is fundamentally rewriting someone elses words, arbitrarily breaking one sentence into two is looked down upon. With that in mind, can I ask someone to verify whether or not the following is gramatically sound/ which one sounds the best:
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service to which imperial envoys were ordered, in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa.
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa to which imperial envoys were ordered.
All of the example sentences I have found for "to which" have the "to which" directly following the noun being modified. This first sentence follows that format and has "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa" following after a comma. To be honest I think that sounds worse, but the second sentence, which is more pleasing to the ear, has "to which" following "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa." I don't know if that is correct.
punctuation syntactic-analysis
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I am translating something into English, but there is just soooo much information to deal with. Since translation is fundamentally rewriting someone elses words, arbitrarily breaking one sentence into two is looked down upon. With that in mind, can I ask someone to verify whether or not the following is gramatically sound/ which one sounds the best:
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service to which imperial envoys were ordered, in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa.
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa to which imperial envoys were ordered.
All of the example sentences I have found for "to which" have the "to which" directly following the noun being modified. This first sentence follows that format and has "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa" following after a comma. To be honest I think that sounds worse, but the second sentence, which is more pleasing to the ear, has "to which" following "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa." I don't know if that is correct.
punctuation syntactic-analysis
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
I am translating something into English, but there is just soooo much information to deal with. Since translation is fundamentally rewriting someone elses words, arbitrarily breaking one sentence into two is looked down upon. With that in mind, can I ask someone to verify whether or not the following is gramatically sound/ which one sounds the best:
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service to which imperial envoys were ordered, in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa.
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa to which imperial envoys were ordered.
All of the example sentences I have found for "to which" have the "to which" directly following the noun being modified. This first sentence follows that format and has "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa" following after a comma. To be honest I think that sounds worse, but the second sentence, which is more pleasing to the ear, has "to which" following "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa." I don't know if that is correct.
punctuation syntactic-analysis
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I am translating something into English, but there is just soooo much information to deal with. Since translation is fundamentally rewriting someone elses words, arbitrarily breaking one sentence into two is looked down upon. With that in mind, can I ask someone to verify whether or not the following is gramatically sound/ which one sounds the best:
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service to which imperial envoys were ordered, in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa.
In 1192 A.D., during the reign of Emperor Gotoba and the establishment of the Kamakura Shogunate, Honen Shonin, founder of the Buddhist sect “Jodo shu,” visited the temple and held a great memorial service in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa to which imperial envoys were ordered.
All of the example sentences I have found for "to which" have the "to which" directly following the noun being modified. This first sentence follows that format and has "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa" following after a comma. To be honest I think that sounds worse, but the second sentence, which is more pleasing to the ear, has "to which" following "in honor of Emperor Goshirakawa." I don't know if that is correct.
punctuation syntactic-analysis
punctuation syntactic-analysis
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
asked 49 secs ago
JeremyJeremy
262
262
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Jeremy is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
0
active
oldest
votes
Your Answer
StackExchange.ready(function() {
var channelOptions = {
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "97"
};
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);
StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
createEditor();
});
}
else {
createEditor();
}
});
function createEditor() {
StackExchange.prepareEditor({
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader: {
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
},
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
});
}
});
Jeremy is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
var $window = $(window),
onScroll = function(e) {
var $elem = $('.new-login-left'),
docViewTop = $window.scrollTop(),
docViewBottom = docViewTop + $window.height(),
elemTop = $elem.offset().top,
elemBottom = elemTop + $elem.height();
if ((docViewTop elemBottom)) {
StackExchange.using('gps', function() { StackExchange.gps.track('embedded_signup_form.view', { location: 'question_page' }); });
$window.unbind('scroll', onScroll);
}
};
$window.on('scroll', onScroll);
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fenglish.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f482433%2fis-this-sentence-too-long%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
0
active
oldest
votes
0
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Jeremy is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Jeremy is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Jeremy is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Jeremy is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Thanks for contributing an answer to English Language & Usage Stack Exchange!
- Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!
But avoid …
- Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.
- Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.
To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
var $window = $(window),
onScroll = function(e) {
var $elem = $('.new-login-left'),
docViewTop = $window.scrollTop(),
docViewBottom = docViewTop + $window.height(),
elemTop = $elem.offset().top,
elemBottom = elemTop + $elem.height();
if ((docViewTop elemBottom)) {
StackExchange.using('gps', function() { StackExchange.gps.track('embedded_signup_form.view', { location: 'question_page' }); });
$window.unbind('scroll', onScroll);
}
};
$window.on('scroll', onScroll);
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fenglish.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f482433%2fis-this-sentence-too-long%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
var $window = $(window),
onScroll = function(e) {
var $elem = $('.new-login-left'),
docViewTop = $window.scrollTop(),
docViewBottom = docViewTop + $window.height(),
elemTop = $elem.offset().top,
elemBottom = elemTop + $elem.height();
if ((docViewTop elemBottom)) {
StackExchange.using('gps', function() { StackExchange.gps.track('embedded_signup_form.view', { location: 'question_page' }); });
$window.unbind('scroll', onScroll);
}
};
$window.on('scroll', onScroll);
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
var $window = $(window),
onScroll = function(e) {
var $elem = $('.new-login-left'),
docViewTop = $window.scrollTop(),
docViewBottom = docViewTop + $window.height(),
elemTop = $elem.offset().top,
elemBottom = elemTop + $elem.height();
if ((docViewTop elemBottom)) {
StackExchange.using('gps', function() { StackExchange.gps.track('embedded_signup_form.view', { location: 'question_page' }); });
$window.unbind('scroll', onScroll);
}
};
$window.on('scroll', onScroll);
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
var $window = $(window),
onScroll = function(e) {
var $elem = $('.new-login-left'),
docViewTop = $window.scrollTop(),
docViewBottom = docViewTop + $window.height(),
elemTop = $elem.offset().top,
elemBottom = elemTop + $elem.height();
if ((docViewTop elemBottom)) {
StackExchange.using('gps', function() { StackExchange.gps.track('embedded_signup_form.view', { location: 'question_page' }); });
$window.unbind('scroll', onScroll);
}
};
$window.on('scroll', onScroll);
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
