Bdtyk

So, this is the kind of thing that happens to me and some of my friends...a lot! And we struggle with finding words to describe it. Here's a real-world example; let's pretend it happened to you for better understanding.

You just had a baby. You're in the hospital, and it's time to go home. Your mother comes to pick you up but forgot to bring the infant car seat, probably because you were born before car seats were invented, so it's understandable.

However, when you state that the baby can't leave without a car seat (not legally), your mother somehow implies, repeatedly, that you are just being fussy about it (the whole car seats being required in the 21st century thing). Due to exhaustion, you respond in an Eeyorish way: "Yes, Mother, I'm anal-retentive today...but not vaginally retentive, not anymore." And you add: "See there!" as you point towards your newborn babe (to drive home the safety issue side of your argument).

Well, your response could've been better (much, much better), but what is a word for what just happened to you there?

My mother just _____ me.

In the 80s, we would've filled in the blank with dissed (which, in fact, could be used to mean just wronged in some way), but I'm searching for a more specific word, phrase or idiom to describe taking flak from people who can't handle everyday details well, regardless of how well-intentioned they may be.

Re: research, mostly Psych 101 terms because I thought I had forgotten a word or phrase (such as rationalizing or filling in the gaps) or an idiom (such as the pot calling the kettle black, referring to projecting), but all that seemed to go nowhere.

Thank you for offering a suggestion of how you might use the word/phrase that you seek. Deriving the meaning from your story and example sentence, I think your mother just "disregarded" you.
I attached the thesaurus page using the same word. It has several other clever and nuanced suggestions.

However, if you would prefer to use an idiom, she might also be "turning a deaf ear" to you. Hopefully these will help helps.

My mother just disregarded me.

My mother just turned a deaf ear to me.

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/disregard

https://www.freethesaurus.com/disregard

https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/turn+a+deaf+ear

The problem is I don't think there's an English word for exactly this, because you said your mother thought you were being „fussy“ about this. It certainly was not such strong opposition to suggest „flak“ which would be far too strong.

Flak is like military shells (figuratively). Saying you were „dissed“ doesn`t sound too 80sish to me, just not quite right. That´s more like she put you down over it (not what happened). I think the closest you can get to it is something a lot milder, like „she gave me a little heat about it.“ But I wouldn’t say „heat“ alone, just „a little heat“. It needs to be a word or phrase that suggests you were worrying unnecessarily about something, in her opinion.

Ignore, perhaps?

My mother just ignored me.

Or other phrases with similar meaning -

pay no attention

take no notice

brush aside (my) concerns